Insecurity: The Invisible Barrier to Empowerment
- Shohrat Shankar
- May 24, 2024
- 9 min read
Let me tell you a story:
Once upon a time, in the heart of a thriving organization, a silent battle was unfolding. The seasoned veterans, the old guard of the leadership team, found themselves at odds with the new recruits. These newcomers, armed with fresh perspectives and a burning desire to contribute, were eager to usher in change. However, they were met with a frosty reception, a barrier of resistance erected by the veterans.
The veterans viewed the newcomers with suspicion, interpreting their eagerness to contribute as an affront to their established roles. They felt their years of experience were being undermined, their hard-earned knowledge undervalued. The tension was palpable, the divide growing wider with each passing day.
One veteran, a stalwart who had been with the organization for over five years, voiced his concerns, “That new recruit is acting too smart, trying to take over my tasks. It’s as if he’s trying to oust me from the team.” Another echoed similar sentiments, “This new guy is trying to tell me how to do my job. If he has so many ideas, let him do it himself.”
The veterans felt the newcomers were trying to change things too quickly, without understanding the intricacies of the organization. “These new guys have come and are trying to change things to suit them. They don’t understand how things work around here. If there are too many of these new guys, they will change everything and spoil it all,” one veteran lamented.
The veterans also felt that the newcomers were given too much responsibility too soon. “When we started, we had to work hard and put in much more effort to get to where we are. These new guys have got too much responsibility and importance too soon,” a veteran pointed out.
The veterans also felt threatened by the newcomers’ display of wealth. “These new guys are always showing off their possessions, devices, and flaunting their extra money. When we were at their stage, we never spent so much money and only bought things we really needed,” a veteran remarked.
The veterans were also resistant to the technological changes the newcomers were advocating. “They keep talking about these new ways of doing things and making things more technological, then they make fun of the people who are not that tech-savvy. Why can’t we keep the same way of doing things like earlier? It worked fine, didn’t it?” a veteran questioned.
As the leader, I found myself in the eye of this storm. I saw the potential in the new ideas brought forth by the newcomers, but I also understood the apprehensions of the old guard. The challenge was to bridge this divide, to foster a sense of unity and mutual respect within the team.
However, when I started implementing the required changes, I was met with new complaints. "Boss, you are biased towards these new guys. You only listen to their ideas and not ours,” a veteran accused. Another claimed, “You only tell us where we are going wrong, not them.” Yet another felt overlooked, “You support their suggestions and not ours.”
During team meetings, I noticed an increased level of conflict and aggression from the veterans whenever suggestions and ideas were being discussed. This is when I realized that the decision-making and perceptions of the team were clouded by their feelings towards the new members and now me. It was clear that the invisible barrier was not just between the veterans and the newcomers, but it had extended to include me as well. The silent storm had turned into a tempest, and it was up to me to navigate the team out of it.
I sought the guidance of a leadership coach, who identified the root cause of the issue - insecurity. The veterans were feeling threatened by the new members, their insecurities manifesting as resistance to change and animosity towards the newcomers.
Do we all see such examples in our work space? Are we sometimes displaying them?
Continue reading to know how to manage this is an Individual and as the leader.
Understanding Insecurity: A Deep Dive
Insecurity, in essence, is a state of unease. It’s a cocktail of anxiety and fear, often stirred by perceived threats or uncertainties. This unease can manifest as a lack of confidence in oneself or one’s abilities, leading to negative thoughts and behaviors. Insecurity can permeate various aspects of life, such as relationships, career, or personal beliefs.
Reflecting on my experiences with my tenured team, I realized that they were probably grappling with insecurity. The new members, equipped with more relevant skills, sometimes earning more than the veterans at the same stage of their careers, technologically savvier, and eager to implement rapid changes, were inadvertently making the tenured team feel irrelevant.
Let’s delve deeper into understanding insecurity, its effects, and causes.
The Ripple Effects of Insecurity
Insecurity can trigger a cascade of negative thoughts and behaviors, including:
Low self-esteem: Insecurity can make individuals feel inadequate or unworthy, leading to a lack of confidence in themselves and their abilities.
Anxiety and stress: Insecurity can cause individuals to constantly worry about the future or ruminate on past mistakes, leading to feelings of anxiety and stress.
Avoidance of challenges and new experiences: Insecurity can make individuals afraid of failure, leading them to avoid new challenges and experiences.
Self-sabotaging behavior: Insecurity can make individuals doubt their own abilities, leading to self-sabotaging behavior such as procrastination or lack of effort.
Difficulty in relationships: Insecurity can make individuals overly dependent on others for validation, leading to difficulties in maintaining healthy relationships.
Negative thought patterns: Insecurity can lead to negative thought patterns like rumination, self-doubt, overgeneralization, and magnification of negative aspects.
It’s important to note that these are only some examples and the manifestations of insecurity can vary from person to person.
Reflecting on the behavior of my tenured team after the new members started getting active, I observed a pattern of self-sabotaging behavior. The veterans started becoming less involved in team meetings, avoiding many meetings altogether, stepping back from being involved in group projects, and resisting all change initiatives and technological progression. They stopped giving suggestions in meetings and started doing just the bare minimum to contribute towards team goals and success. This led to a vicious cycle of self-sabotaging behavior. The less they contributed, the more irrelevant they felt, the more irrelevant they felt, the more insecure they felt of their roles, the more insecure they felt, the more they isolated themselves, and so on.
While I needed to start taking actions to make them feel more valued and more secure, I also realized that if someone is going down the path of insecurity, nobody else can do much for them unless they are willing to identify their own insecurity and do something about it.
Identifying Insecurities
Here are some signs that may indicate that a person is feeling insecure:
Constant self-doubt: A person may constantly question their own abilities or decisions and have difficulty trusting their own judgment.
Difficulty accepting compliments: A person may have trouble accepting compliments or may brush them off, indicating a lack of self-esteem.
Fear of failure: A person may be overly afraid of failure and may avoid taking risks or trying new things.
Overly sensitive to criticism: A person may take criticism very personally and may have difficulty separating constructive criticism from personal attacks.
Difficulty in relationships: A person may have trouble maintaining healthy relationships due to fear of rejection or abandonment.
Constantly seeking validation: A person may feel the need for constant reassurance or validation from others, indicating a lack of self-confidence.
Negative thought patterns: A person may have negative thoughts, such as self-doubt, rumination, overgeneralization, magnification of negative aspects, and so on.
It’s important to note that these are only some signs and every person is different. It’s possible to experience some of these signs and not be insecure or to have different signs altogether. If you are concerned that you may be experiencing insecurity, it may be helpful to speak with a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support.
When I consulted my coach about what leads to insecurity, he mentioned that it is closely connected with how we view ourselves and our own self-regard.
The Connection Between Self-regard and Insecurity
Self-regard, also known as self-esteem, is the way a person feels about themselves and their abilities. It is the opinion one has of oneself and the level of self-worth one holds. It is closely associated with a sense of insecurity because when a person has low self-regard, they are more likely to feel insecure about themselves and their abilities.
When a person has low self-regard, they may have a negative self-image and may feel inadequate or unworthy. They may doubt their own abilities and decisions and may have difficulty accepting compliments or positive feedback. This can lead to feelings of insecurity and a lack of confidence in oneself.
On the other hand, when a person has high self-regard, they tend to have a positive self-image and a sense of self-worth. They have a sense of confidence in themselves and their abilities and are less likely to feel insecure. They tend to have a more realistic self-evaluation and they don’t tend to take criticism or failure too personally.
It is important to note that self-regard and self-esteem can fluctuate, and a person may experience periods of both high and low self-regard. It is important to maintain a healthy self-regard by setting realistic goals, accepting compliments and positive feedback, and learning from mistakes, all of which can help to build self-confidence and reduce feelings of insecurity.
While this makes sense and I was quite able to relate to this connection between self-regard and insecurity, the next step will be for people to understand how they can build self-regard and start feeling less insecure.
Building Self-regard and Overcoming Insecurity
Building self-regard and feeling less insecure can take time and effort, but there are some steps you can take to improve your self-esteem and reduce feelings of insecurity:
Challenge negative thoughts: When you find yourself having negative thoughts, try to challenge them by asking yourself if they are true, and if not, reframe them in a positive way.
Set realistic goals: Setting small, achievable goals can help to build self-confidence and improve self-esteem.
Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally can improve your overall well-being and help to reduce feelings of insecurity.
Accept compliments and positive feedback: Learn to accept compliments and positive feedback graciously. This will help to build self-confidence and improve self-esteem.
Learn from mistakes: Instead of dwelling on past mistakes, try to learn from them and move on. This can help to reduce feelings of insecurity and improve self-esteem.
Talk to someone: If you’re struggling with feelings of insecurity, talking to a therapist or counselor can be helpful. They can provide guidance and support and can help you develop strategies to improve self-esteem and reduce feelings of insecurity.
Be kind to yourself: Treat yourself with the same kindness, respect, and understanding you would offer to a good friend.
Surround yourself with positive people: Spend time with people who are supportive, positive, and encourage you to be your best self.
Remember, building self-regard and reducing feelings of insecurity is a process and it may take time. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t see improvement immediately, keep working on it and you will see changes over time.
Managing Team Insecurities and Fostering a Secure Environment
As a leader, managing the insecurities of your team, especially the veterans, can be challenging but crucial for maintaining a healthy and productive work environment. Here are some strategies you can employ:
1. Open Communication: Encourage open dialogue about their concerns. This can help you understand their insecurities better and address them effectively.
2. Acknowledge Their Value: Regularly acknowledge the veterans’ contributions and experience. Highlight their unique skills and knowledge that they bring to the team.
3. Provide Opportunities for Upskilling: Arrange training sessions or workshops to help the veterans upgrade their skills. This can boost their confidence and make them feel more secure about their roles.
4. Promote Collaboration: Encourage the newcomers and veterans to work together on projects. This can facilitate knowledge exchange and reduce the perceived threat from the newcomers.
5. Fair Treatment: Ensure that all team members, regardless of their tenure, are treated fairly and equally. This can prevent feelings of resentment or insecurity.
6. Feedback and Recognition: Provide constructive feedback and recognize the veterans for their work. This can reinforce their value in the team and boost their self-esteem.
7. Address Concerns Promptly: If a veteran expresses insecurity or concern, address it promptly. Ignoring it can exacerbate the issue and affect their performance.
8. Promote a Positive Work Culture: Foster a work culture that values all team members and promotes mutual respect. This can help in reducing insecurities and promoting a sense of belonging.
Remember, it’s important to be patient and empathetic. Changes may not happen overnight, but consistent efforts can help in managing insecurities and fostering a secure and positive work environment.
In the end, the key to managing insecurities within a team lies in fostering an environment of trust, open communication, and mutual respect. As a leader, it’s important to acknowledge the insecurities of team members and address them in a constructive manner. This can be done by promoting a culture of learning and growth, where mistakes are viewed as opportunities for improvement rather than failures. Additionally, providing regular positive feedback and recognition can help boost the self-esteem of team members and reduce feelings of insecurity. Lastly, encouraging team members to seek professional help if they’re struggling with severe insecurities can also be beneficial. Remember, a secure team is a productive team.
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