4 practical tips on how to convince people
A few weeks ago we’d discussed how Rajesh, a manager, was unable to Influence or convince people and how he, like many others, needed to work on developing an Influential personality by working on the 6Cs & V.
Now after a few months of working on his personality and credibility he thought finally he would now be able to influence & convince people better.
However, he was quite dejected to find that it wasn’t enough.
Though people had started valuing his views a little more and would generally give him the time and space to express himself, while they would even initially listen and discuss his views and opinions; however, whenever there were opposing views or suggestions, he would eventually get into debates and arguments when trying to convince them or when trying to show people that his suggestion was better than theirs.
So once again he was in a quandary on how to proceed, that is when he met up with an Influence coach who guided him on how to proceed and be able to effectively Influence people with opposing views.
In his interactions and discussions, with the coach, he was able to identify the following areas he would need to improve in order to develop “The art of Influencing people”
1. Listen to be listened to:
The first thing that Rajesh realized was that the reason people opposed & contradicted his suggestions was because he rarely listened to their views or suggestions either.
He often interrupted them if he disagreed with their views and even if he waited for them to finish, it was to immediately share his counterpoint.
He became aware that in order to get people to listen to his own views, he needed to listen, acknowledge & appreciate what other people were saying.
The key- ‘In order to Influence someone you need to show that you have a willingness and are open to get convinced.’
2. Look for WIN-WIN:
The coach then guided Rajesh to read a book called the 3rd Alternative by Stephen Covey.
Here he found the importance of looking for a truly WIN-WIN solution.
He realized that in discussions he would usually look to push his own agenda and oppose others suggestions. Often looking at the situation from an extreme WIN-LOSE approach, not realizing that we can often create a better solution from combining the best from 2 or more suggestions.
Rajesh decided to no longer be rigid about having only his solution and NO other, as in doing that, often he would end up with conflicts and absolutely NO agreed solution.
He planned to, not only listen to other views, but also see if there could be a better 3rd alternative constructed from the best suggestions of the others. He was going to truly look for a Win-Win and search for the 3rd Alternative.
So instead of jumping in and contradicting when he disagreed with someone else, he started saying, “Thank you for your suggestions, what I really like about your suggestion is……….., it is something even I would like to implement, can we possibly come up with a solution that takes the best from both our solutions and fulfills both our requirements?”
3. Seek to understand context & perspective:
Seek first to understand, then to be understood
In order to achieve the above Rajesh felt there was more to be done and after further discussion it was identified that he should start seeing things from others perspective and truly understand their context, needs and intentions.
Often if you see peoples views in isolation they might seem foolish and absurd; however, if you truly understand their perspective you will find that their intention was probably the same as yours, just the method of wanting to execute it is different.
It is also much easier to convince people when the solution takes into account their needs and interests too.
As Rajesh started applying this in his daily interactions, he felt it was now easier to work with people and to find the 3rd Alternative and achieve truly WIN-WIN outcomes.
4. Communicate Confidently with Conviction:
Finally armed with everything he needed to get people to listen to him, all that remained was his ability to communicate confidently with conviction.
He worked on the Power of his voice to ensure that his passion and conviction was effectively conveyed to people along with working to convey empathy and concern for other people's needs.
Now ready and prepared to create an impact and convince people Rajesh went into his meetings filled with confidence and assured that he would make more progress and have far more positive and constructive discussions with people.
If you can relate with Rajesh and face similar challenges, check out our article on Building an Influential Personality, work on the points above and if you want to connect with an Influence Coach who will empower you through the process, then connect with me on firstname.lastname@example.org and we can work out a training or coaching plan to achieve the desired results.